Depression Getaway with Wendy Love

Want to be a VIGILANTE  for your depression journey? IF NOT YOU, THEN WHO? I know that when we think of a vigilante we think of violence. That may well be the case. But if you look at this definition of vigilante, notice the last part, the most important part: "self-appointed doer of justice". I like the sounds of that!

I mean it seemed like a good idea at the time - a therapy dog, or emotional support dog, just for me.  First the search, a little stressful since there were so many considerations, size, breed, puppy or adult, male or female, etc. We narrowed it down to one tiny dog, a Yorkie named Casey. Since we live in an apartment a small dog was a must. But honestly, I never pictured myself as one of those women carrying my dog around in my purse, but here I am!

ADDICTED TO APPLES? Seriously? I could have a worse addiction, right? I mean there is no support group for addiction to apples.  The important question is 'why apples'? There are two reasons. One:apples are healthy and I love to eat healthy (most of the time). Two: apples are sweet, actually full of sugar and I crave sugar.   My moods have dictated what I eat for a long time. And I have a lot of different moods. Because of rapid cycling bipolar my moods are always on the move. Each mood is an excuse to eat something I don't really need. 

Food or Mood - Who's in charge anyways? Food and mood? Is there anybody out there who has NOT noticed that relationship?  Are there any parents out there who have NOT noticed that your kids misbehave shortly after you give them sugar? Anyone feel deliriously tired after a turkey dinner? If you've been reading this blog for awhile you know that I will try just about anything to lessen the symptoms of my bipolar disorder.

Depression is tough! Ice cream is not tough. Ice cream is soothing, mood lifting, deliriously delicious! For the few moments that I am eating ice cream I am NOT DEPRESSED! Recently, in one of my many attempts to alleviate some symtoms of this insidious bipolar disorder, I tried a different way of eating.  My cravings left! Disappeared! Without those cravings I was not grabbing for bread, fruit, icecream.

I hate shopping! Even if I start out with some enthusiasm or a definite purpose, in a short time I am tired and crabby and I hate everybody. My husband loves shopping so he does most of it. But if we are out together we have a system. If I start to feel tired, crabby or anxious, I just say "I've had enough" and out to the car I go to wait for him. I don't mind waiting. I keep a puzzle book in the car and I am happier out there in solitude. And he is happier to continue his shopping without a crabby wife. Wait - maybe I should qualify 'crabby' - after all I am mentally ill, this IS an illness and so the medical term might be 'anxious'.  Whatever, you get the idea!

Meet Casey! He is the newest member of my depression management team! My husband gave me a wonderful article to read about veteran soldiers with PSTD who were helped by therapy dogs. Something touched me right then and we started looking for dogs. When I met Casey I knew he was the one and he has been giving me therapy ever since. It is too soon for me to say that my dog will make a difference but I will report back to you in a few months and give you an update. For now I am calmer than I usually am, smile more than I normally do and have someone (some'thing') that pulls me away from my self-obsessive thoughts. THAT'S GOOD RIGHT?

What do social media and reality TV have in common? They are both fake! Just because 'real' people are involved and not 'actors' doesn't make it real. Reality is scripted, so is social media. You put what you want the observer to see. You pick and choose. It is not real. Huffington Post in an article titled "The Thin And Dangerous Line Between Social Media And Fake Feeds" states: Social media is often a lie. It's another version of fake news. Or at least, it's not the full story. What was intended to be a way to stay connected with friends and family has become a perfect, shiny reflection of people's best lives. Though sometimes, those lives are fake.

Recently a friend put on her instagram "I am taking a break from social media for awhile". I immediately thought "good for you!" It was like someone saying "I'm going on a diet. It is time I lost this extra weight" or maybe "I am finally going to clean out my closets, I have way too much stuff!".  I admire people when they make an assessment about something in their life, find it lacking, and decide to do something about it.

"Does excessive social media use cause depression, or do depressed people tend to use social media excessively?" I don't have an answer to that question. We are individuals and we will each answer differently. This quote is from psychcentral.com in an article titled "Does Social Media Cause Depression?"

I remember the first time I went on facebook, many years ago. I had no idea how it worked but it sure was easy. As soon as I was on there I got friend requests from several people. I felt quite vulnerable and a little paranoid. How did they know I was on Facebook? I just got on there only moments ago! I had no understanding of how it worked and I didn't ask anyone to explain it to me. Impulsively (which is my nature) I cancelled my account. (Probably one of my irrational bipolar moments). A few years later I tried again. This time a little more aware of how things worked but still niave. I enjoyed it for awhile but then a post came up which was offensive which I had not put on. I was worried about how I might 'look' having such awful stuff on my page. Not knowing how it got there and how I could remove it and prevent stuff like that from happening again, I cancelled my account.

What brings you JOY? What comes to mind as soon as you hear the word "JOY"? Depression is the opposite of joy. Joy adds something positive to your life, depression not only takes away a lot of positive but also adds some negative. If you would like to counteract that negativity, if you would like an antidote for the negative thoughts then you need to know exactly what might be the very opposite of those dreary thoughts.

"Chin up!" I love looking up the origins of old expressions.  For instance 'bring him down a few pegs' means to literally bring someone down from their lofty attitude. But where do the pegs come in? There are several possibilities but I like the one I heard.  Pubs used to hang the beer steins on pegs. Each person had their own personal mug. The higher the peg the higher your rank in the community. If you had fallen from favour your mug would be 'brought down a few pegs'.

I am sure you have heard the expression "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth"? "Don't question the value of a gift. The proverb refers to the practice of evaluating the age of a horse by looking at its teeth. This practice is also the source of the expression “long in the tooth,” meaning old."

What is this guy waiting for? My good friend Melda Clark has a 'three day rule' for depression. When she hits a depressive episode she doesn't react for three days. She doesn't run off to the doctor for three days. She doesn't impulsively change her medication.

Medication Makeover gone bad? I mean, why don't I just give up? Because  "I CAN'T  give up!"

"Medication Makeover"? Am I serious? Some of the most popular shows on TV right now are house makeovers.  Apparently lots of people love to see a house transformed. Would you like to see your depression transformed? I sure would.

Diet Coke and Antidepressants? Diet coke and antidepressants are an interesting pair. I am sure I don't have to tell you why this cartoon is funny, if not ironic. I mean, what good is that diet coke doing for this man?

Depression is hard, but God is soft. Yes, depression is hard. Some days you might feel like your shoes are made of cement. Every step is a huge effort. Other times you may wonder how you can even go on. You question the value of your life.

As someone with mental illness,  the truth is important to me. Why? Because I cannot trust  my own thoughts to be true. You know the kind of thoughts I am talking about:

When it is a windy day on the beach, seagulls will group together and stand facing the wind. I prefer to have the wind at my back but if I had feathers I wouldn't. With feathers, the position of least resistance is facing the wind. The path of least resistance. What does that have to do with FAITH? If you choose faith you resist doubt, worry, and fear. Wow! Those are terrible things. DOUBT, WORRY, FEAR... would you choose those things? No, I don't think any of us INTENTIONALLY  choose doubt, worry or fear. But without faith that is what automatically happens. I would rather choose faith. Choosing faith is as easy and as natural as standing on the beach on a windy day and choosing the path of least resistance. Faith is not resisting, it is accepting and embracing. Don't be like this guy. Using his umbrella on a windy day on the beach was a poor choice and clearly he had his umbrella facing the wrong way. Be

I enjoy a few weeks on the Atlantic Ocean every winter and many days I manage to catch the sunrise. Who doesn't love a sunrise? It comes slowly, you think it's close  and about to happen any minute, but you wait and watch and wait and watch some more and then, after what seems like a long time, there it is, that little sliver of light ever so much brighter than the brightness you have been watching for so long.

Ever feel 'crushed in spirit'? Doesn't that describe perfectly how depression feels sometimes? This was written by King David in the bible, in the book of Psalms.

Faith and hope have an important connection. My faith in a loving God gives me strength for today and hope for tomorrow. My faith gives me the hope that I won't be depressed forever because my faith tells me that nothing on this earth is forever.

My faith is more than my depression getaway. It is my anchor in a storm. It is better than a hospital bed with compassionate nurses and skilled psychiatrists. It is better than the best antidepressants. It doesn't give me a break or a getaway from depression. It gives me strength to survive . It give me a reason to survive.

Faith can move mountains.  Faith, which I claimed last week was invisible, can move mountains? How can that possibly be?

Faith is invisible.  It is intangible. Faith is blind and yet.... it causes us to see,  see what? HOPE! So how can you get some of this faith?

Faith is my key. Faith is free! Can you afford that? FREE? Do you have any? Would you like some? Faith is my key for surviving depression.

Have you ever wondered why God chose to visit this earth in the form a little baby? I have until about a year ago I was enlightened about the power of one little baby.

Merry Christmas! To all of my Depression Getaway readers: I am taking my own advice. I am cutting out everything I can to save what little energy I have for this stressful time of year. So, I am starting with my blog and taking a break from posting until the new year. In the meantime, be kind to yourself during this season. Keep that Christmas Crash Helmet on before, during and after Christmas. I'll  be back in the New year. Wendy Love

Best Christmas ever? I know what one of mine was. Like to hear about it? My 'best Christmas ever' has to do with one person, not with gifts or parties or decorations or Christmas movies. And that person is my sister! This picture of me and my sister was taken in 1967. We could laugh at nothing at all, or at everything. We find the same things funny. She is a little older than me so she has been in my life from the very beginning.

'Family Christmas' - does that phrase bring good or bad memories to mind? "Family Christmas" brings all sorts of warm childhood memories to my mind. I remember food, fun, family, laughter and most of all love. At least that is how I remember my childhood Christmases. Who knows, maybe my parents had stresses with our family christmas that I was not aware of? Let me share a typical childhood Christmas for me.

Season to be jolly? That's a lot of pressure for someone who is depressed.  "Tis the season to be jolly"? Even if you don't deal with depression you can find it hard to be happy just because it is Christmas. I remember the first Christmas after my dad died suddenly at the age of 59. Christmas came three months later. I knew Christmas was going to be tough. I even wondered if there was some way to avoid it altogether. 

Christmas landmines, I have a few. The biggest one might even be my own expectations. My mother was a classy, fussy lady. Every morning I walked into our little kitchen to a mother who had already washed her face, brushed her hair and teeth, put on pearls (yep pearls), lipstick and a pretty negligee! 

'Christmas Crash Helmut' . Your mood may crash either before or after Christmas. A 'Christmas crash helmet' could protect you from total devestation. 'Christmas Crash Helmet' is the name of this next series here at Depression Getaway . Christmas is a difficult season for many, even those who do NOT have any sort of mental illness. My idea about a 'christmas crash helmet'  is to encourage you to prepare for Christmas ahead of time. CONFESSION? I don't enjoy Christmas. I feel like Scrooge saying that but it's true. It is too extroverted for this introvert. Too busy for this gal who needs quiet routine. Too much shopping for someone who does not like shopping. Add to that the guilt of being depressed during 'the most wonderful time of the year'. You get the idea.

Depression Recovery Report Card? Is there such a thing? Well there is now and I am going to share mine with you. A depression recovery report card helps us measure progress, even if that progress is backwards. Being aware and staying vigilant are key to handling mental illness. I am sharing my own depression recovery report card because I have also shared, several weeks ago, that I hit a really low patch of depression in 'Help, I'm Hitting a Brick Wall' . If you've read the downside, you deserve to read the upside. 

Relapse is a dirty word for me. It is dreaded, negative, unwanted, undeserved, well, you get the picture. But just like death is part of life, relapse is part of depression recovery. Do you have the courage to read on?  Relapse. Relapse?   Relapse! Relapse is a dirty word, for me and probably for you too. Relapse is a word you don't want to even consider when working toward depression recovery. Relapse is a dirty word, right? But guess what? You absolutely must factor it in to your review.

Depression recovery strategies can only be discovered through some good detective work. And guess who the detective is - you! What does a monopoly game have to do with depression? Nothing really, but it has a lot ot do with strategy and if you want to win this battle with depression you are going to need some game strategies .

Depression recovery lifestyle changes - ouch! Changes! I know too well that just dealing with mental illness is enough change right? But what if there were some LITTLE changes that would make a BIG difference How are you coming along with our depression review? Are you learning something new? We have covered the first four important items: diagnosis, medication, therapy and research . Are you on track so far? Well, there is more to do if you really want to recover from this old depression. Like it or not you may have to make some depression recovery lifestyle changes. Try to think of it as if you were picking out a whole new wardrobe.

Researching depression - sound depressing? Not to me. - I grew up in a family where the World Book Encyclopedias were often brought to the dinner table.  We used them to settle arguments or satisfy someone's curiosity. Not that we were so intellectual, we just liked finding out stuff. So to me research is fun. Research is something that few people are indifferent to. You either love it or you hate it. No matter how you feel about it, no one will do this part for you. A little research is key to giving you a good foundation about this life-threatening disease.

Depression therapy is SUPPOSED to help. I just haven't experienced that personally yet. However, having said that, and having 'hit a brick wall' with another dip into depression, I have decided to give it another try. I will catch you up to date on how effective that was in a few weeks. It would be a shame if your doctor gave you a diagnosis, prescribed some medication and then sent you home to work things out on your own. However, that is exactly what happens for many of us. It may not be until your symptoms persist that your doctor will suggest some sort of therapy. Everyone can benefit from therapy, even if they aren't depressed, but if you are depressed it could be another useful tool in your get well kit.

Medication - finding one that works - is one aspect of depression recovery that I have had the least success with. Maybe that is why I emphasize lifestyle changes so much. I have had to make many changes to accomodate this illness. Oh how I wish there was a pill that would do the job! Medication is our #2 Keyword for Depression . Let's continue our depression review. Medication makes you strong - not weak. Seeking any kind of help for depression is the smart thing to do. Medication might make a little difference. Wouldn't that be worth it? And what if it makes a big difference? Better still!

Depression recovery diagnosis. It took me eight depressing years before I was accurately diagnosed with bipolar disorder. We won't experience recovery until we know what we need to recover from. Getting the right diagnosis is the #1 keyword in our depression review. For the next 8 posts, we are going to review some of the basics in depression recovery . Yes, I said recovery! Lots of people recover from depression. You may as well be one of them! But it isn't easy and you will need to work as hard as your doctors to even get the right diagnosis.