Depression and Relationships, Part One: When Harry Met Sally
Did you see it? The movie? When it came out it was just another romantic comedy but over the years it has raised up quite a following. There are some memorable scenes (the restaurant orgasm) and delightful lines.
It is about a couple who meet one another when they are both involved with someone else. As college students they take a car trip across country together merely for financial convenience and get to know each other quite well and say goodbye, thinking nothing of their relationship. They bump into each other over the years and finally ten years later, when they are both going through a break-up they become good friends - the most unlikely good friends since they are so different.
But in one way they are the same, they are both equally nuts (but aren't we all?) They each have their share of hang-ups and phobias and strong opinions about ridiculous things. But they are human and like us all, crave that human connection, especially a romantic one.
It is a little bit like 'My Fair Lady' where the two people involved are not star-crossed lovers and yet the male lead declares his love with "I've grown accustomed to her face" which by the way is one of my favourite love songs.
And so, when finally Harry realizes that he has fallen in love with Sally, instead of a great romantic proclamation of love he says this:
" I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
Anyways, I have kind of gone on about that. If you saw the movie you will have an idea of what I am talking about.
Or do you? Here is what I am talking about: when two people get together they bring a lot with them. Some of what they bring with them compliments the other person, some of what they bring clashes with the other person.
What about you and your depression? What do your symptoms, your illness do to a relationship? Will it be better for you to relate with some kinds of people and not others? Definitely!
This is the first post about relationships and depression. We are not the only ones affected by our mental illness. Everyone around us is too.
WHAT ABOUT YOU? How are you feeling today? How does your depression affect your relationships? How do your relationships affect your depression? Have you thought about this?
Don't give up! There is hope for depression.
