Depression Getaway with Wendy Love

Depression is real but so is hope for those walking through it. What do I mean by that? Let me give you a bit of background.   Why I Keep Writing About Depression How many years have I been writing about depression ? Let’s see… oh my goodness — over 17 years! Over that time, I’ve written articles about journaling , therapy , diagnosis , and medication — all in an effort to teach, inform, and shed light on this complex illness.

  Joy and Sorrow - At the Same Time? Have you ever experienced joy in the middle of sorrow? I have. My father died suddenly at the age of 59. I remember the moment. I was at his funeral, sitting in the front pew holding my mother's right hand with my sister on the other side holding her left hand. The three of us were drenched with tears. The big church was packed. But despite my sorrow I was filled with joy at the life my dad had lived, at the lives he had impacted in a good way, and at the thankfulness I felt for having him all those years.

If that describes you, then you are strong!

Depression is not a character flaw! Do you believe that? Do you know that? Would someone with cancer ever beat themselves up mentally by saying "I am such a loser, I have cancer" or "why can't I just make this cancer go away?" Would someone with diabetes decide to quit taking insulin because taking medication makes you weak? Of course not.

Hope is a feeling, not a fact, but could it be? The sun rises every day without any help from me. That is where some of my hope lies. Even if I can't see the sun, it is there. The sun is my concrete hope. This is one definition of hope that is so appropriate for those of us who are challenged by depression: "Hope is the feeling we have  that the feeling we have is not permanent." Mignon McLaughlin There you have it. This depression is NOT permanent. It sure feels like it sometimes, but it is not! That is our hope.

Hope changes everything. Do you believe that is possible even when you know that hope can't be measured or touched? "Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure." (Abraham Cowley) One of the things that changes my thinking from 'hopeless' to 'hopeful' is a chat with a trusted friend. That is usually my sister or my husband. If I can just get out the hopeless words, purge myself from the negativity, I can sometimes come away from a conversation like that with a little hope. A chat with a trusted friend is one of my favourite depression getaways. I wish I could bottle that kind of hope for you right now and make a potion out of it. Okay, so if we were going to create our own hope potion what would it be made of? Before we figure that out maybe we need to remind ourselves what the opposite of hope is - despair! Despair is not an option. We cannot afford to give in to despair. This illness is bad enough sometimes but ...

HOPE IS REAL. "There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something better tomorrow." (Orison Marden) When all seems hopeless and I need to remember that hope is real, here is one of my little tricks. I talk to myself. For instance, on a bad day, and there have been many of those, I just say to myself "okay, so this is not a good day. I have had days like this before and I have survived. I will survive again. It is only a day. It is not my entire life."

Hope for depression, really? But isn't this the illness of hopelessness? Not anymore. Do you live here? I found this on the internet. It must be interesting to live in a place called 'Hope' . Better than living somewhere called 'Hopeless' right?

HELLO! GOODBYE! Recently I was leaving our local hospital on the joyous day of the birth of our seventh grandchild! Just outside the front doors I met a dear friend who's elderly husband had been ill for quite awhile. This was a particularly bad day for her and it looked like he would not last the night. I was struck by the drama of life, by beginnings and endings. I felt sad for her and happy for us, and a little guilty at my joy. And yet this is how life is meant to be, beginnings and endings.

Smart husband! He did not answer that question with the truth. How much honesty do we need when we are struggling with depression? A lot! We need a lot of truth. Why? Because the illness itself is built on lies that are based on thoughts and feelings. They are just thoughts. They are just feelings. They are not facts.

We were talking about positive thinking for the last little while. Well I have something even better and way more powerful than that - PRAYER! I personally believe that God hears prayer and God answers prayer . I believe that prayer is the most powerful thing you can do for yourself or for others. I believe prayer changes things . What about you? What do you believe?

'Positive thinking' however unreachable it seems to be, is one of our great hopes for depression. Depression Getaway is designed to encourage and inform. Last time we talked about how positive thinking, although valuable, is on the one hand not the definitive answer for depression, but on the other hand, shouldn't be tossed out the window as pointless. I promised to share with you some of the pioneers of 'positive thinking' . Norman Vincent Peale coined this phrase with his best selling book 'The Power of Positive Thinking' . The poster above is one of his memorable sayings. He had a strong faith in God and was one of the first ministers to combine that Christian faith with popular psychology. He became a dynamic speaker and the author of over 40 books.

There is HOPE FOR DEPRESSION! Let me say it again: 'THERE IS HOPE FOR DEPRESSION'! It has been a bit of fun gleaning some new lessons for depression from various personality traits of my six grandchildren . You probably assume, since I seem so familiar with their unique characteristics, that I spend a lot of time with them. But that is not the case. The word 'grandmother' probably conjures up all sorts of cozy scenes of homemade cookies, sleepovers and babysitting. But that is not the case with this Grandma.

Here they are!  #5 and #6 are twin grandbabies! And boy can they communicate. They are eleven months old. I will call them 'Pounder' and 'Shrieker' . An example of their skills is shown here. They are in position. Mommy is giving them cheerios which they love. And when they are done and want more, one of them simply pounds on his tray until more appear, the other one shrieks at the top of her lungs. And guess what? It works!

Depression is an emotional illness but sometimes we're too numb or weak to even engage in emotion. Grandchild #4 is two years old in this picture. She is still able to find a lot of joy in every little thing. She emotes easily, especially happy emotions. I will call her 'Emoticon'. In this picture she didn't even understand the victory that was being won on the TV but everyone else in the room was happy and so she was happy too!

Depression is difficult. Depression recovery is challenging. But we could soften the pain and increase changes of recovery with a little snuggling.

Does depression really have a conscience? Meet #2 grandchild who I will call 'Reticence' , almost sounds like a real name doesn't it? Such a pensive little girl in this picture. She was born in 2007. Last week I suggested that we could all take a lesson from a granddaughter who refuses to consider herself 'limited'. Good idea and sometimes we need a little inspiration like that.

Depression is limiting. I know that full well. As I begin the series 'Lessons for Depression from the Grandchildren' , let me introduce you to #1 grandchild. I will call her 'Limitless' . She was born in 2005 but at the time this winning photo was taken she was 7 years old and winning her first contest ever for her speech. Look how proud she is. She had never won anything before this.

'One Stop Shopping' is a fairly new phenomenon. In the 50's when I was growing up in Toronto, the closest thing to 'one stop shopping' was 'Simpson's' and 'Eaton's' and you had to go downtown to shop there. Out in the suburbs where I lived there were grocery stores, hardware stores, drugstores, bakeries, florists etc. but no big department stores. Then along came 'Canadian Tire' . This was and still is a big deal in Canada. At first they sold everything you needed for your car, then they expanded into other kinds of hardware for the home, the cottage etc. Now they even sell decorative things for the home and the list goes on. I remember when 'Shoppers Drug Mart' first opened. To have such a big store to buy your medications and other drugstore kinds of stuff was quite the novelty in Canada at first. And they even sold other things, stationary, magazines, etc. You get the idea. And what about the grocery stores? Do th...

"You must be crazy!" I hear you saying. Well, yes, I am crazy (ha ha ha) but I am also serious. Yes, there is a good time to be depressed - right now! Depression is a form of mental illness. Mental illness has quite a history and there is not one period of history where there is more hope for the mentally ill than now.