Depression Getaway with Wendy Love

The Lights of Christmas - isn't that absolutely gorgeous? I think it might be a painting, it doesn't even look real. What do you think? We like to take at least one special drive at Christmas time to enjoy the lights. Some places have lights worth driving to. We have our favourites! Just what is it about light and lights that draws each of us?

I love Hallmark Christmas Movies. The scenery is lovely, the decorating for christmas is over the top (and in my favourite colour red), the people are beautiful and you can be guaranteed of a happy ending. They are the perfect escape from reality. I know, I know - they are hardly literary winners, the script is usually weak and the plots are simple. You always know how it will end, you just don't know exactly how they will get there. But that's what I love about it, simple. It is not challenging to watch, just visually enjoyable and usually heartwarming, what's wrong with that?

Have you ever wondered why God chose to visit this earth in the form a little baby? I have until about a year ago I was enlightened about the power of one little baby.

Merry Christmas! To all of my Depression Getaway readers: I am taking my own advice. I am cutting out everything I can to save what little energy I have for this stressful time of year. So, I am starting with my blog and taking a break from posting until the new year. In the meantime, be kind to yourself during this season. Keep that Christmas Crash Helmet on before, during and after Christmas. I'll  be back in the New year. Wendy Love

Best Christmas ever? I know what one of mine was. Like to hear about it? My 'best Christmas ever' has to do with one person, not with gifts or parties or decorations or Christmas movies. And that person is my sister! This picture of me and my sister was taken in 1967. We could laugh at nothing at all, or at everything. We find the same things funny. She is a little older than me so she has been in my life from the very beginning.

'Family Christmas' - does that phrase bring good or bad memories to mind? "Family Christmas" brings all sorts of warm childhood memories to my mind. I remember food, fun, family, laughter and most of all love. At least that is how I remember my childhood Christmases. Who knows, maybe my parents had stresses with our family christmas that I was not aware of? Let me share a typical childhood Christmas for me.

Season to be jolly? That's a lot of pressure for someone who is depressed.  "Tis the season to be jolly"? Even if you don't deal with depression you can find it hard to be happy just because it is Christmas. I remember the first Christmas after my dad died suddenly at the age of 59. Christmas came three months later. I knew Christmas was going to be tough. I even wondered if there was some way to avoid it altogether. 

Christmas landmines, I have a few. The biggest one might even be my own expectations. My mother was a classy, fussy lady. Every morning I walked into our little kitchen to a mother who had already washed her face, brushed her hair and teeth, put on pearls (yep pearls), lipstick and a pretty negligee! 

'Christmas Crash Helmut' . Your mood may crash either before or after Christmas. A 'Christmas crash helmet' could protect you from total devestation. 'Christmas Crash Helmet' is the name of this next series here at Depression Getaway . Christmas is a difficult season for many, even those who do NOT have any sort of mental illness. My idea about a 'christmas crash helmet'  is to encourage you to prepare for Christmas ahead of time. CONFESSION? I don't enjoy Christmas. I feel like Scrooge saying that but it's true. It is too extroverted for this introvert. Too busy for this gal who needs quiet routine. Too much shopping for someone who does not like shopping. Add to that the guilt of being depressed during 'the most wonderful time of the year'. You get the idea.

This past year I had good days and bad days. I know everyone has their ups and downs, not just people with bipolar disorder. But if you have any kind of mental illness, those bad days can feel insurmountable. Those bad days cloud over all of the good days.  There were several times this year when I felt like giving up. There were moments when I thought 'how have I managed for so long with these awful thoughts, these feelings of hopelessness? Why do I have to live a life where I am weak half of the time as I would be if I had the flu?' 

Looks like this Santa needs to come to our 'Christmas Rehab Camp'. I've rewritten new lyrics to this favorite tune of 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town' for our camp theme song: You better watch out, Go have a good cry, You better lie down, I'm telling you why, Christmas let-down can be so hard. You've thrown out your list You've hidden the scales Now catch up on sleep Don't open the mail Now you can relax and reflect. You've worked so hard to get there, And now it's almost done, The parties and the presents And all that Christmas 'fun'. So, you better watch out, Go have a good cry, You better lie down, I'm telling you why, Christmas let-down can be so hard.

I used to envy people with faith. I remember thinking 'it must be nice to have the peace that comes with believing that there is a God who cares." I wanted to believe, but for some reason, I couldn't. My sister became a Christian before I did. I trusted my sister and she started lending me some interesting books about faith in Jesus Christ. Then I started reading my bible and even going to church. As I opened my heart to Jesus, He walked into it and has been living there ever since.

Christmas is popular in so many ways.  'Christmas' sells. Movies based on a Christmas theme and books about Christmas are top sellers. They are all about love. What's not to love about love ? I enjoy   Christmas movies. You can usually count on pretty scenery and happy endings and they are wholesome enough that the whole family can watch together. That is a lovely depression getaway for me! I am able to realize that they are not real and I do not compare my life to them. They are strictly entertainment.

My Christmas surprise - spoiled by me!  One of the magical parts of Christmas for many of us is SURPRISE . Little did I know when I was a child how much work went into setting up these surprises. I was 15 and my sister was 18. By now I had long gotten over one of the first big letdowns of Christmas - there was no Santa. I still enjoyed the magic of the surprise presents under the tree.

Juggling Christmas with depression - not easy, but not impossible. I remember the first Christmas I gave myself permission to 'scale back' . I was so sick with depression I wanted to cancel it altogether but our five kids were still all in their twenties and even though there were no grandchildren yet, I wasn't prepared to give up on hosting Christmas.  So far our house was the gathering place and I was so thankful that these five wonderful kids were still willing to spend time with the family, especially since we are a 'blended' family.  Besides, sick or not, being together with all of our kids is one of my best depression getaways. Selfishly, I did not want to deprive myself of that. Truthfully, I hoped this Christmas was just a little bump in the road and next Christmas I would be 'my old self' . 

This Staples ad gives me a depression getaway giggle everytime. It is such a fun use of that Christmas song, "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year." Here are some of the lyrics 

Look at that happy family! They appear delighted to see each other. The wreath on the door suggests they are ready for Christmas and for company. I just bet that behind that door there is Christmas music playing, a fireplace crackling, the smell of home cooking and a beautifully decorated tree packed with presents underneath. That was not unlike the family I grew up in. Yes, some people really do have families like that. My many years of living, however, have shown me that this kind of family is the exception, not the rule. Let me tell you about the first Christmas when my 'happy family' bubble burst. It equals the disappointment of finding out there is no Santa.

Using the song 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' as my theme, I have spent the last twelve posts sharing some of my own Christmas stories. I hope you enjoyed them. But during the process I learned that the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas" actually has some biblical symbolism. Did you know that? I got my information from a music site, you might want to check it out.  Here is what I learned.

We have reached the twelfth day of Christmas, and there they are, the drummers are drumming! It has been fun reminiscing with you about some of my old Christmas memories.Here is my last  Christmas story. I hope you enjoy it. What Do a Broken Glass and Spilt Milk have in common? I had an amazing mother, not a perfect mother, but an amazing one. She was beautiful and talented with an appealing personality as well as a delightful sense of humour. Sometimes as a young awkward girl, I would feel slightly dimmed by the shadow she cast.