Depression Getaway with Wendy Love

  H-E-L-P is our keyword today. HELP for depression. Do you know what I have learned over the years of speaking about depression? Many people who struggle with mental illness resist getting help. Why? I've heard a lot of excuses. Here are just a few. "I don't want anyone to know." "I don't want to take medication, I want to be in control of my life." "If I admit I need help, that makes me weak." "I don't need help, I can do this alone."

Depression recovery diagnosis. It took me eight depressing years before I was accurately diagnosed with bipolar disorder. We won't experience recovery until we know what we need to recover from. Getting the right diagnosis is the #1 keyword in our depression review. For the next 8 posts, we are going to review some of the basics in depression recovery . Yes, I said recovery! Lots of people recover from depression. You may as well be one of them! But it isn't easy and you will need to work as hard as your doctors to even get the right diagnosis.

'Cause you've got personality, Walk, with personality Talk, with personality Smile, with personality Charm, personality Love, personality And plus you've got A great big heart' You might be too young to remember this song from the 60's . In those days if someone said that a person had a great personality the assumption would be that they were referring to the part of the personality that was thought to make you popular such as outgoingness, friendliness, confidence or maybe a sense of humour. No one who was shy and withdrawn would have been thought to have a great personality. Personality was considered an outward trait. But we have evolved from that to a different time and more insight into the various personality types.

It took eight long years of depression to figure out that I had a form of mental illness called Bipolar Disorder . The difference is significant in the treatment and so this was an important step in my progress. Why did it take so long to figure it out? Bipolar involves both good moods and bad moods. It affects two poles of the brain, not just one. I have Bipolar 2, which some refer to as 'mild bipolar'. The only time I went to see my doctor was when I was in the depths of despair, experiencing the low moods of bipolar which was depression .

'Discovery' can mean different things to different people. Certainly Columbus thought that he 'discovered' America. The truth is, America was already there. The natives probably had a much different point of view.  When I found this poster I was surprised at how many other rather critical jokes there are out there of Christopher Columbus! When you 'discovered' that the symptoms you were experiencing might indicate that you had depression, that was your first step toward recovery. But there are so many more very important steps.

Gardening compared to journaling? Well, that works for me since I love to do both. But for some of you both a garden or a journal may seem overwhelming. I remember my first few attempts at a vegetable garden. I had no clue and didn't realize I was planting in hard clay!  My second garden was better, the soil was excellent and I grew some great stuff, but I not only had not realized how much work there was but also didn't face the fact that I just didn't have the time to do it. There were more weeds than produce.  By the time I attempted my third vegetable garden, I had done a lot of reading, I had more time and went into it informed and ready. It was beautiful to look at, a joy to work in and I took a lot of wonderful vegetables out of it. 

NCIS is one of my favourite TV shows, and apparently the most-watched tv show around the world. I enjoy the characters. The plots are about murder, yes, but they seldom show gorry stuff. Humour is added into a serious topic. This show doesn't disturb my sensitive nature or bring me down in any way. It is one of my favourite Depression Getaways. Of course,  NCIS   stands for   Naval Criminal Investigative Service   but I have taken a few liberties and made an acronym just for us.

My doctor had a gift for detective work and I am glad she did. She actually reminded me of 'Jessica Fletcher' the famous detective from 'Murder She Wrote'. When she first began treating me, she would start me on a small dose of the medication and then continue to increase it to the ' recommended therapeutic dose’ .  Sometimes I would start to get better but when she increased me to the 'recommended dosage' I would get worse. Puzzled by this, she took my chart, reread all of her notes (she had great notes), and noticed that I always did better on a smaller dosage than the one recommended. If she didn’t have good notes, she would not have been able to figure that out. So, what do journaling and getting the right diagnosis have to do with each other?

"Getting the right diagnosis never entered my mind. I just wanted to stop feeling this awful." Do you remember thinking that way? Do you remember when you first realized you had some symptoms of depression?   Here was my initial experience.    I was going through a stressful time in my life (divorce) but coping, or so I thought. One of the ways I dealt with stress was through exercise, particularly, walking. One day, while on my one hour walk, I felt like I could not go at my usual pace. The only other time I remembered feeling that awful was when I had anemia. So, assuming that it was the same thing this time, I went to my doctor.   She already knew that I was going through a rough time and so a little depression was to be expected. She agreed to have my blood checked but it turned out to be fine. As she prescribed an antidepressant my doctor explained that sometimes this sort of 'circumstance related depression' was temporary, and probably in six months to a