Depression Getaway with Wendy Love

I'll bet you were wondering about my perfect marriage, right? I mean how can someone with a complicated mental illness have a perfect marriage? Doesn't the havoc of mental instability destroy relationships?

Here is a post I wrote way back in March of 2012. I thought it might be interesting to follow up on the projects I said I would tackle way back then. Bipolar is new every morning, I will say that! I never know what kind of mood I will be in, especially due to the fact that I have rapid cycling bipolar which means my moods change frequently. I don't like that. Of course it is the depressed mood that is the most dreaded, but then the hypomania is no fun either because you know it leads to depression, and so there you have it...The main symptom even in bipolar is good old depression.

As we discuss the challenge that depression presents to relationships, I would like to share some strategies. I will use my husband and I as examples here. We have been navigating these dark waters together since 1998. We have come up with some things that work for us, maybe they will work for you too.

Of course depression can ruin relationships. It can ruin just about anything if you let it! But there are lots of other things that can ruin relationships as well. Depression presents its own unique challenges however, which should not be overlooked. How can it ruin relationships? The depressed person is no fun, that's how. But it goes much deeper than that. As the depressed person withdraws more and more from life they will sometimes even withdraw from their relationships, even the most important ones. They can't help it, they feel rotten and they have nothing to give. They withdraw to survive.

As I attempt to tackle the topic of depression and relationships, one kind of relationship comes to mind - romance! "All the world loves a lover" . Romance is a wonderful thing. We are designed for it, it comes naturally for most of us, and it is thrills and comforts like no other relationship. Even depressed people crave romance. We all crave connection and we all love to be needed by someone.

Baby Boom was one of my favourite movies way back in the 90's. It was a story where the heroine (played by Diane Keaton), who is a brilliant and successful advertising executive, is faced with a choice of whether to continue to become more successful and live in the fast lane, or enjoy a lesser degree of success but be able to stay home and raise her baby and enjoy a meaningful relationship and small town life. You guessed it, she chose home and baby and a relationship ! I liked that! That fit in with my value system.

Did you see it? The movie? When it came out it was just another romantic comedy but over the years it has raised up quite a following. There are some memorable scenes (the restaurant orgasm) and delightful lines. It is about a couple who meet one another when they are both involved with someone else. As college students they take a car trip across country together merely for financial convenience and get to know each other quite well and say goodbye, thinking nothing of their relationship. They bump into each other over the years and finally ten years later, when they are both going through a break-up they become good friends - the most unlikely good friends since they are so different.