Measuring My Progress: Part Three


I used to be an avid gardener. Oh the joy of going out to my big vegetable garden and observing my progress!

 I tried all sorts of new seeds every year. It was a happy hobby for me. I like to think of some of the strategies that I employ for depression as seeds in a garden. Some seeds take root and do well. Some don't.
Unknown Object

 I am always trying something new, I have to keep on keeping on even if most of the crazy stuff I try makes no difference. It is in my nature to continue the search.

 So here are some things I have tried recently.

1.  I bought a book called "Writing Through the Darkness" by Elizabeth Maynard Schaefer. I didn't really learn anything new but it did confirm that writing is therapeutic and so that made me feel good about keeping up this writing.

 PROGRESS!

 2. I read an article online about thyroid medication helping people who have Bipolar II, especially those with rapid cycling bipolar, like me. Since I already take thyroid medication, I knew that I tolerated it so this seemed a natural for me. My family doctor was happy to comply and we have been increasing my thyroid medication slowly all summer. It not only didn't help, it made things worse, I was hyper and couldn't sleep. Could actually feel my heart beating! But I discovered something that didn't work and so could cross that off of my list of 'new things to try'.

 PROGRESS!

 3. I am now investigating something called 'mindfulness' through a book called The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder by Sheri Van Dijk. It's too early to recommend it but already it has me thinking differently and I think I just may be able to glean something out of it for my wellness toolkit. I am finding the practice of mindfulness kind of fun.

 PROGRESS!

 4. I haven't tried this one yet but I am going to look for a new psychiatrist. My old one quit. Would you believe she had a nervous breakdown?! I feel that just deciding to do something new gives me hope.

 PROGRESS!

 5. I haven't given up! I am not giving up! To me perseverence is progress.

 PROGRESS!

 Why do I keep trying new things when I have had so little success? I guess it is just my nature. I can't seem to give up on looking for something that might even make a little bit of difference. Even a little improvement could improve the quality of my life immensely.

 In the meantime I continue to lead a quiet life. It is the only way for me. It is not the life I would have chosen but it is my life. 

 I have a good husband to love me and support me through it all and that is more than many others have. I have a lot to be thankful for.

 Do I ever feel sorry for myself with this condition? You bet I do! But I think I have made some progress. I have learned a lot. I am more compassionate to others with mental illness and have been able to reach out with understanding to many a friend going through this. 

 If I had not experienced mental illness myself, I would not have been able to reach out to others with credibility and compassion and understanding.

 I hope that by sharing my story once again, you will be encouraged to keep trying to find more and more ways to live a better and better life, despite depression. It is possible.

 WHAT ABOUT YOU? How are you feeling today? Are you inspired to try something new? Are you encouraged to not give up?

 Don't give up! There is hope for depression. 

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