Memories and Depression: Part One
Summer is just about over. The teacher in me tends to start new projects in the beginning of September. It is an old habit that is hard to break.
Another habit that is hard to break if you are depressed is recalling bad experiences - sometimes ruminating about them, which means dwelling on those negative memories and thinking about them over and over again.
I have done a little bit of remembering this summer on this blog. It was sort of an experiment to force myself to recall some good times. I did it as a writing exercise and as an antidepressant. But I learned some interesting things during the process which I would like to share with you.
Have you ever been in a deep depression and tried to recall something pleasant? It is almost impossible when you are in that stage. But it is in that very stage that it might be helpful to do that.
Have you ever been in a deep depression and tried to recall something pleasant? It is almost impossible when you are in that stage. But it is in that very stage that it might be helpful to do that.
For instance, you are at a therapists appointment and you are with your therapist and they say "tell me something you used to love to do. What was there about it that you loved so much?"
That question is hard to answer when you are depressed. Here, I will take a crack at it since I am not depressed today.
I used to love to run. As a child I loved running and even won a few races. And then as a young adult in my twenties I started jogging. My dad was a jogger too and sometimes we went together.
What did I love about it? Being outside, experiencing nature and fresh air, the rhythm of running, hearing my feet pound a regular beat on the ground, the way my body felt firm and light while I was running, being with my dad if we ran together, and the feeling that I was doing something good for myself. I even loved the cooling down time afterwards. If my dad and I were together, we would take a long time to cool down, just because we were enjoying being together.
My goodness, if I liked it that much, why don't I take up running again? Well, I had to give it up because of a chronic back problem which I still have. But I have substituted walking for running and it works just as well for me.
Now, if I was depressed, my recall of running might be quite different. I might say "well I used to run but I had to give it up because of my back. I liked running with my dad but he died, so.... just like the rest of my life, I have had to give up so much because of this stupid old depression."
Well, that is not enough recall. By missing the details, the good stuff, I am missing out on remembering what I liked about it and that recall experience could lead to trying to find new activities that might have some of those same aspects.
Remembering the good stuff is important. Remembering the bad stuff will just make you sicker. Do you believe me? Stick with me and I will convince you.
WHAT ABOUT YOU? How are you feeling today? Are you dwelling on the past, the bad past? Could you try to recall something good?
