Warning! Don't Invite Ruminating Ruby to Tea
Warning: Don't invite any of my 'Depression Go-Aways' for tea!
I will never forget the day I met my first mother-in-law. It didn't take her long to get right into chatting about her woeful life with me even though we had just met. I couldn't believe so many awful things could happen to one person!
I was a young innocent nineteen year old college student. I grew up in a very sheltered positive home, one where the motto was 'if you couldn't say anything nice, don't say anything at all'. I was not used to such negativity. I was overwhelmed with her sad stories.
We had only just met and yet she started right into telling me about all of the awful things that had ever happened to her! After a few years, I could recite the entire speech myself. It was the same thing over and over and over and over again. It was like a dripping tap.
She was a 'ruminator'. To ruminate means "to go over in the mind repeatedly".
The word ruminate can also refer to what cows do, you know, chewing their food, swallowing it, bringing it back up and chewing it again. If you think of it that way you can really get a grasp of how disgusting ruminating is!
In the case of my mother-in-law, she not only went over her woes in her mind, but also out loud to anyone who would listen. She had no friends, not surprising.
Unique to depression though is that we really do ruminate as defined. We go over and over negative things in our mind especially when we are depressed. One of the things I have never been able to determine is the answer to this question: Which comes first, rumination or depression? They certainly seem to go hand in hand in my case.
I have developed a CAST OF CHARACTERS for Depression Getaway. I am calling them 'The Depression Go-aways' and you are meeting the first one today: Ruminating Ruby.
You've probably met her many times before. Maybe she is even visiting you right now! Ruby ruminates, which means she goes over and over sad things that have happened to her. If she is really toxic she will do this out loud to anyone who will listen.
But, if she is just one of your depression voices she will do this only in your head. Do you recognize her now?
Rumination and depression go together like conjoined twins. It is hard to separate the two, but not impossible! Here are some tips that help me to stop ruminating.
1. Change position. If you are sitting in a chair looking out of a south window, get out of the chair and look out a north window. Whatever you are doing, change your position! Changing what you are looking at can sometimes change what you are thinking about.
2. Choose something else to think about, preferably something good. I choose to think about one of my dear grandchildren, maybe the day they were born or something wonderful like that.
3. Look at something beautiful such as a butterfly, and practice your mindfulness while thinking about every single aspect of that.
4. Sing a song over and over until the ruminating thoughts stop.
5. Read aloud a favorite passage, which for me would be Psalm 23.
Don't let Ruminating Ruby stay! If she comes in the door, kick her out and lock the door. If she flies through the window, throw her back out, shut the window and close the curtains. If she sits to the dinner table, kick her out, and take away her chair!
You simply cannot afford to let her stay. If you do your depression has no chance of lifting.
Ruminating Ruby is a definite 'Depression Go-Away' and that is what you say to her: "GO AWAY!"
Next time I have another 'Depression Go-Away' for you to meet.
HOW ABOUT YOU? How are you feeling today? Do you and Ruminating Ruby have a lot in common? Do you recognize when those ruminating thoughts are just symptoms of depression or are they real to you?
Don't give up! There is hope for depression.
