Why Does my ADD Husband leave Stores Backwards?
In the last post I said that my ADD husband walks out of stores backwards. Did that get anyone's curiosity? As I continue to share some stories living with ADD and hopefully shed some light on this frustrating mental disorder, I would like to talk some more about distraction.
The one store in particular that he has trouble leaving is Staples and I will tell you why in a minute.
Last time I explained how the very thing the ADDer craves, distraction, is the very thing that makes their life so difficult (and makes them so annoying!)
It is like they are addicted to distraction.
They crave it, they want it, it feels good, it triggers some pleasure button that they want to experience again and again. And, like all addictions, it gets them into trouble.
And so distraction is the enemy. The opposite of distraction would be concentration, and let's face it, we need to be able to concentrate if we are to accomplish anything!
I had an uncle, Uncle Ed, he was one of my favourite people in the whole world. Anyways, he was an old bachelor, a real sweety pie, who would do anything to be helpful. The thing was, that he wasn't really ABLE (he was kind of clumsy) to be helpful in a lot of areas and so we had to pick out jobs carefully for him, and try to keep some jobs secret from him so he wouldn't try to help and then hurt himself. It was kind of sneaky and underhanded, but we had to do it that way because we loved him.
It is the same with any of our shortcomings, and we all have them. We have to do what we are able to do and let others do what they are able to do. Now then, what job do you give someone to do if they can't concentrate?
I am sure the answer to this question would vary from one ADD person to another, but in the case of my husband, the answer would be shopping! To start with, he loves shopping and I do not. Secondly, he loves stores, the colours, the millions of things to look at, and yes, you've got it, the DISTRACTIONS!
He works with a list which keeps him partially on track. He is very clever so he studies every purchase like a professor working on his second PhD. And he loves it! But there is something so funny about the way he shops. He doesn't want to leave the store. He doesn't want to leave the distraction. He doesn't want it to be over. And so, he often leaves the store backwards, looking to see if he has missed anything. He is sad to have the distraction over, the fun finished. Getting into the car and driving home is a letdown.
If there are any kinds of brochures or flyers at the exit door, like there are at Staples, he will pick up every one. I could not begin to count the numbers of flyers I have recycled without his knowledge. Sometimes he picks up the same ones over and over again. And he fully intends to read them too, but by the time he gets home there will be new distractions and he will forget all about those flyers, for awhile.
If you are living with someone with ADD, and you did not have any understanding of this condition, you would think they were lazy and stupid. They are not! They are usually smarter than most, but it is camouflaged under their forgetfulness. True, they are frustrating people to live with, but anyone who is different than us is frustrating to live with, even if they aren't ADD.
So why did my husband pick up EVERY brochure on the way out of the store and not just those which really interested him? I will talk to you next time about ADD and discrimination.
WHAT ABOUT YOU? How are you feeling today? Are you finding it difficult to concentrate too? Difficulty concentrating goes with all kinds of mental disorders. Are you easily distracted? Do you enjoy distraction or do you resent it?
Don't give up! There is hope - for depression, for ADD and for every kind of mental disorder.
