Working with your Therapist: It takes Two! (Part 4 of Therapy is Risky Business)
Wow! These guys seem to have a great technique for one of the most difficult races of all time, the three-legged race.
Now this would be more typical, two trying to work together but pulling each other down. Maybe they had communication problems.
One time a few years ago, as I returned for my three month visit with my psychiatrist, I sat discouraged, in her office as she reviewed my file to get up to speed on my situation. She said "last time we were together you said you were managing".
"Yes, I guess that is true" I replied "but all I do is manage. My full time job is managing this illness. It takes up all of my life to do just that." I explained how I attempted to walk every day, eat healthy and stay away from people and situations that were negative for me. I told her that to a certain extent that was helping and yet I was still depressed most of the time.
By my informing her of that she looked a little closer at my situation and looked over my medication history and suggested we try a new drug. Frankly, that drug gave me unbearable side effects but at least she listened to me and responded to my desperate situation. We were working together and she could only be as helpful to me as the information I shared was helpful to her. Does that make any sense?
We have to help our helpers help us.
One of my favourite blogs about depression is called 'Depression Marathon'. She is constantly pointing out simple but positive things that happen in her daily life of dealing with chronic depression. Recently she left a comment for a reader concerning how she learned to work collaboratively with her therapist to obtain positive results:
"Collaboration, for me, included taking meds as prescribed, following through on their suggestions, and being honest about my symptoms. I think before I made this attitude switch I focused only on the negative. Everything was all bad. There were no shades of gray. Doctors can't do much with "all bad." They need to know what works and what doesn't. I began to see and admit to areas of improvement, even small ones. Even if I still felt like crap overall, I could find tiny bits of improvement, and that information made my doctor's job easier. It helped guide her treatment. She and I could build on what worked and discontinue what didn't. She was also more trusting of what I said because I was no longer generalizing everything as bad. That's just one example. Hope that helps."
I felt like she made a good point. And that is the point I want to make with you today.
Your therapist can't read your mind. They can only work with what you give them. So if you find a therapist you like, which is not easy to do, then work with them.
Help them help you.
And now I have a confession to make. This entire series "Beware! Therapy can be Risky Business" was written as a reaction to my own recent bad experience with a therapist. I have tried to make the series helpful and informative but I must confess that my heart wasn't in it.
The truth is I am a skeptic when it comes to therapists and I should have simply stayed away from this topic.
However, having said that, it doesn't mean that therapy doesn't work for some people. It is definitely worth a try.
When I have read articles about what it takes to handle depression the list goes like this: medication, therapy, lifestyle changes. They often say we should not skip seeing a therapist.
I would if I could. I would love to have someone to check in with now and then, on both the good days and the bad days. I don't think any of us should be out there on our own, isolated with a mental illness. But it just hasn't worked out for me. Could be that is why I have done so much research and write this blog in hopes of encouraging others not to give up.
WHAT ABOUT YOU? How are you feeling today? Do you agree that therapy can be a risky business? Have you experienced some success? Or have you avoided therapy altogether?
Don't give up! There is hope for depression.
