Facebook - To Follow or not to Follow
Are these smiles fake or phoney? Well I'm sure you've figured it out already. This might be a real family but they are definitely posing for this picture and they are probably not that happy all the time. Who knows? Maybe they fight all the time?
But if this woman were a 'friend' of mine on Facebook, I might assume that she has a very happy family (all the time) and that they play together and laugh together (and all the time). It might even make me wish that my family were happier like this one. The picture might give me unnecessary thoughts of jealousy and resentment.
Facebook is a fun way to keep up with friends and to share ideas and certainly has its place. But sometimes it can just make you feel like everyone has a happy life, except you. You may imagine that their family gets along all the time, but not yours. If you are depressed, you will be particularly vulnerable to these kinds of thoughts.
This can become a negative trigger for anyone battling depression or any other mood disorder.
Did you know that Facebook is designed to hook you and keep you there? Every button you push leads to more desire to push more buttons. If anyone 'likes' a post you get excited and want to check it out often during the day to see if there are any more 'likes'. 'Likes' can actually become addictive.
If Facebook is setting you up for that kind of discontent, that puts Facebook in control and not you, right?
I decided to take control of Facebook instead of it taking control of me. I will tell you how in a minute.
How about a Facebook cleanse? We could go through our 'friends' and 'unfollow' the ones that really make us feel bad about ourselves.
SO BEWARE!
FACEBOOK IS NOT
A DEPRESSION GETAWAY
I have a friend 'Suzette'. She is one of those people that 'tells it like it is'. She has a beautiful picture of her husband and her family hanging proudly on a wall where everyone sees it. They look perfect. But she is very willing to tell us what happened before the picture. From one of them forgetting they had a date with a photographer, to another not having the right coloured shirt. Apparently the family fought all the way to the photo shoot. Before the photographer said 'cheese' they were bickering like crazy. The photo did not reflect the reality of their real family. One of the things I love about 'Suzette' is that she is so willing to be honest about it.
Depression is a precarious illness. It is insidious and reaches far into our thoughts creating moods that are hard to manage. When we are feeling particularly vulnerable, Facebook may not a good place to spend time in.
WHAT ABOUT ME? The way I deal with Facebook is to NOT FOLLOW anyone, or to be more specific, 'unfollow'. I just visit them from time to time when I am in a stable mood. I try to visit only the positive ones. I am 'intentional' in my use of Facebook. Often I stay away altogether. So why am I even on Facebook? Honestly, as a blogger and a novelist, I am advised to be on social media and that is one of the reasons I am there. Plus, as a grandma, I don't want to miss out on those precious photos of the grands. But as an introvert, this is not a natural fit for me. And so yes, I have succumbed to the pressures of social media but with limitations because of depression.
WHAT ABOUT YOU? How are you feeling today? Is Facebook a depression getaway for you? Are you strong enough to spend some time on Facebook without feeling worse about your life? Are there some people you should 'unfollow'?
Don't give up! I am praying for you. There is hope for depression.
