Depression Getaway with Wendy Love

As a new year is approaching, many will be entertaining thoughts of new projects, new goals, maybe even a whole new you! The magazines will be full of articles about new year's resolutions and weight loss plans.The gyms will be full of people who overate during the holidays. But this too will pass and in a few short weeks we will all be doing whatever it is we normally do. So, my fellow depressees, save yourselves the torment and don't put any added pressure on yourselves by setting up unrealistic goals. Do what you can do and don't do what you can't do. Be yourself and avoid a trap for failure. We need reasons to feel good about ourselves and about our lives.

Using the song 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' as my theme, I have spent the last twelve posts sharing some of my own Christmas stories. I hope you enjoyed them. But during the process I learned that the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas" actually has some biblical symbolism. Did you know that? I got my information from a music site, you might want to check it out.  Here is what I learned.

We have reached the twelfth day of Christmas, and there they are, the drummers are drumming! It has been fun reminiscing with you about some of my old Christmas memories.Here is my last  Christmas story. I hope you enjoy it. What Do a Broken Glass and Spilt Milk have in common? I had an amazing mother, not a perfect mother, but an amazing one. She was beautiful and talented with an appealing personality as well as a delightful sense of humour. Sometimes as a young awkward girl, I would feel slightly dimmed by the shadow she cast.

I wonder what the 'eleven pipers piping' were playing for 'The Twelve Days of Christmas'? Only two more stories to share for my' twelve days of Christmas'. This one has snow in it. What would a Canadian Christmas story be without snow?! Pregnant, a book and a snowstorm. It was 1975, Christmas day and my husband and I were traveling from his mother's house just outside of Ottawa, to my folks house in Toronto. I was excitedly expecting our first child due in June. I had a book with me called 'Birth Stories' put out by the 'Lamaze' people. You have to have lived in the seventies and eighties to remember Lamaze.

One would think by reading my stories that I had these amazing Christmases. And you know, that is the fun part about reminiscing about things years later. The good things are memorable, that not so good things are not. If we keep retelling the good stories, they will get gooder and gooder and stronger in our memories. Why would I get an empty paint can for Christmas?  That's right! An empty paint can!

 As I continue to share some Christmas stories, I am reminded of the good times I have had at Christmas. It is so easy to get caught up in the stress of gift buying, etc. that it would be so easy to forget the good times. May some of my stories help you remember some of your good times at Christmas! What was your best Christmas camouflage? When my girls were young, their dad and I would take them to K-mart to shop for Christmas. He would take one daughter, I would take the other and they would buy a present for one another. It was great fun, very secretive and there were lots of giggles.  For daughters so close in age, who spent most of their time together, it was hard but fun to keep the secret until Christmas.

What were some of your most memorable Christmas presents? Memories of presents are very limited for me. It seems to be the people,the gatherings, the fun with cousins, the games and the food stand out more than the presents. I am happy to say that it is the same for my girls, and relieved that the presents were not the main memory at all.  But that being said, there are two Christmases that stand out for them, just because of the nature of the presents.

Last time I shared my best Christmas surprise ever. This week's story is not as upbeat as I am going to share one of my saddest Christmases. What was your saddest Christmas ever? If you have been fortunate enough to know some happy Christmases, as I have, the sad ones really stand out. You probably can remember your saddest Christmas....I have three very sad Christmases.

Sharing good old Christmas stories with you, stories that happened before depression entered my life, is way more fun for me than sharing the stress of Christmas on depression. I hope it is fun for you too! As promised, today I am sharing one of my best Christmases ever. What was your best Christmas ever? My grown-up Christmases continued along, spending them mostly with my husband's small unhappy family, and rushing to Toronto, five hours away from my home outside Ottawa to spend at least some time with my family as well. All that traveling took the edge off of the festivities somewhat because I was too tired to enjoy everyone.

After surviving the discovery that Santa was not real, Christmases went along quite well for awhile as I continued to enjoy being surrounded by family. That was to change when my sister and I got married. We had other families to spend time with as well and so did not always manage to get everyone together anymore. My first married Christmas was a whole new story. I was not really aware of how other families handled the season. Since my mother-in-law was widowed, there was no other family around (she was not speaking to them) and she only had one bachelor son besides my husband, I insisted that we spend Christmas with her instead of with my family. It only seemed fair.

Do  you remember when you found out that Santa wasn't real?  Finding out that Santa was not real happened to me when I was about eight years old. The only detail I remember was throwing myself down on the chesterfield in our living room, in utter despair and a flood of tears. I remember nothing before or after that. If this was a traumatic event, it lasted only a few minutes, for that is all I remember.

As I ate my breakfast this morning in the dark early hours of the day, I was admiring our Christmas tree and thinking "that is our best tree ever!" which brought back a happy memory from my childhood. Every single year, after the tree was decorated, my mom would stand back and admire her handiwork and say "that is our best tree ever". I am thankful for a mother who was such a positive person, spoke mostly nice things and kept the ugly thoughts to herself, and who saw the world through rose coloured glasses much of the time. Bottom line? She was a phoney! But there were benefits.

What Was Your Childhood Like?  When I think of my parents, I can fit them into this proverb about love and faithfulness.  "Let love and faithfulness never leave you.; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favour and a good name in the sight of God and man."  (Proverbs 3:3)  I know they won favour with man, but I cannot presume to know what kind of favour they had with God. With me they did, and still do, in my memory of them, find favour. I believe I was blessed with wonderful parents and had a happy childhood.

Twelve days of Christmas! Not really my cup of tea. However, remembering good times is a great depression getaway for me so, for the next twelve days, I would like to share some stories about some good christmases from my past. I hope and pray that you will be entertained and encouraged by these stories and that you will find new ways this year to find joy in this stressful season. But before I get into story telling let's get one thing straight - how Christmas originated in the first place. Well, we all know that Christmas can be a difficult season for many people, for a lot of different reasons. And certainly the TV shows all dolled up pretty, the ads, the stores, the happy holiday songs put a lot of pressure on people to 'get with the program, get happy, shop, cook, drive around all over visiting relatives and friends, etc. etc. etc. etc.' Who can measure up to that? Added to that pressure for the Christian is that we must fit extra church activities into the mix

Wait, 'SOS' for Christmas? Why would I say such a thing? Because Christmas can be really tough for lots of people especially for those of us with depression, that's why. "Christmas" - what comes to mind when you hear that? Children, presents, tree, lights, food, shopping.....those might be some things that came to your mind. Or maybe you recall smiles, hugs and good times? Or maybe expectations and guilt and dread come to your mind? If so you're not alone.

We have chatted about a few things you could put into your own personal 'Restore' for your own personal depression. Perhaps you just need some good old daydreaming. Kids are great at that. They have no responsibilities and so their minds travel to all sorts of places, all day long. Have you let your mind travel lately? It's a cheap holiday and can be very restoring!

I love seeing old houses being restored. That is one thing that has stayed fixed in my memory from my trip to Europe, how much restoration was going on, and how little demolition! I had an old house once. It had been neglected, but it was easy to see that when it was new, it was a beautiful home. Bringing it back to its original beauty was a labour of love!  The old house in this photo was probably beautiful when it was new too. And it will be beautiful again, with a lot of hard work. How about you, could you be beautiful again? Could you feel good again? For a moment, an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year? Could you be restored? Are there some things you could do for yourself besides the medications, the therapy, the changes in lifestyle, that could make you feel better than you do right now, make you feel restored?