Depression Getaway with Wendy Love

As I write this I am once again 'hitting a brick wall' with depression. I would rather call it 'hitting a brick wall' than use the dreaded word 'relapse'. That's just too depressing! To me 'hitting a brick wall' implies that I have done everything I know to do even though I am once again depressed. I do realize that there is power in acceptance . I understand the benefits of 'rest and relaxation'. But there is something in me that finds it hard to just lay back and accept this as normal. Maybe it is part of my rebellious nature. Maybe it is just my way to want to research further and see what I can find. 

Hope is a feeling, not a fact, but could it be? The sun rises every day without any help from me. That is where some of my hope lies. Even if I can't see the sun, it is there. The sun is my concrete hope. This is one definition of hope that is so appropriate for those of us who are challenged by depression: "Hope is the feeling we have  that the feeling we have is not permanent." Mignon McLaughlin There you have it. This depression is NOT permanent. It sure feels like it sometimes, but it is not! That is our hope.

Hope changes everything. Do you believe that is possible even when you know that hope can't be measured or touched? "Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure." (Abraham Cowley) One of the things that changes my thinking from 'hopeless' to 'hopeful' is a chat with a trusted friend. That is usually my sister or my husband. If I can just get out the hopeless words, purge myself from the negativity, I can sometimes come away from a conversation like that with a little hope. A chat with a trusted friend is one of my favourite depression getaways. I wish I could bottle that kind of hope for you right now and make a potion out of it. Okay, so if we were going to create our own hope potion what would it be made of? Before we figure that out maybe we need to remind ourselves what the opposite of hope is - despair! Despair is not an option. We cannot afford to give in to despair. This illness is bad enough sometimes but

HOPE IS REAL. "There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something better tomorrow." (Orison Marden) When all seems hopeless and I need to remember that hope is real, here is one of my little tricks. I talk to myself. For instance, on a bad day, and there have been many of those, I just say to myself "okay, so this is not a good day. I have had days like this before and I have survived. I will survive again. It is only a day. It is not my entire life."

Hope for depression, really? But isn't this the illness of hopelessness? Not anymore. Do you live here? I found this on the internet. It must be interesting to live in a place called 'Hope' . Better than living somewhere called 'Hopeless' right?

Water depression, it is as good as crying for depression. We have been talking about the positive effects of crying. Certainly if crying is good for everyone, it is also good for those of us who are challenged by depression. We need no longer hide our heads in guilt over the tears that come so freely. We should welcome those tears and their healing benefits. Water depression? Tears are apparently not the only kind of water that is good for the brain.

Authentic crying might be a new term for you, I know it was for me. But don't judge until you have read the rest of this post. What isn't a new term though is 'a really good cry'. Have you had one of those lately?

Did you know you can benefit from tears? Now there is a tear for you! One single precious tear. I wonder what happened to produce that single tear? "...crying is the vehicle the body and system uses to clear out and release old held emotional energy." There is more to a good cry than my mother realized. It is necessary, natural and good for you. It provides some emotional freedom. The benefit from tears is worth knowing.

Crying was not only acceptable in the home I grew up in, it was encouraged. I come from a family of cryers. I can still hear my mother say after crying "I haven't had a good cry for long time. That was wonderful!" You would think she had just devoured a chocolate brownie!

Prescription for depression: take depression temperature - daily. I try most days. My temperature checklist is food, mood, mind, body, weather, yesterday, today, tomorrow. I answer good, bad, or ok beside each item on the list.   This is my reality check to start the day. It not only forces me to measure and consciously think about my mood, but to acknowledge factors that might affect my mood such as weather or what I did yesterday.

Sabotaging depression recovery - are you sabotaging your own depression recovery? One of the ways I do is to get too busy, spending energy  I don't have, which leads to fatigue and then depression. Here is a fun joke about someone who sabotages.

Resentment versus forgiveness? That was a choice I faced after my divorce. I chose forgiveness but it wasn't easy and it didn't happen right away. I had to wallow in resentment for awhile which only added to my misery. A great movie about resentment is "Grumpy Old Men" . They make a comedy out of it but really, the feud takes up every bit of energy from the two main characters. It is a lesson about resentment being consuming, stupid and a poor choice.

Travelling strategies! Everyone can benefit whether mental illness is part of the situation or not. If you're not stressed when you leave, many are stressed by the time they arrive.  The first time I discovered that there was a better way for me to travel was in the year 2000. My husband and two of my step children made the trip from Ontario to Florida in a minivan.

When I was growing up in the 1950's my favourite TV show was 'The Roy Rogers Show'.   At the shows end it showed Roy Rogers and his wife Dale Evans, riding their horses off into the hills and singing 'Happy Trails to You' . I remember I sometimes watched it with my little friend Bobby and we would straddle the back of the couch like it was our horse and pretend we were Roy Rogers and Dale Evans as we sang along. The expression 'happy trails' or 'bon voyage indicate to me that there is something good about taking a trip. Not for me!

You are a hero, so am I. You are brave, so am I. Recently I watched a 'hero' movie, "My All American" . In a grand hollywood ending, the 'hero' walked out onto a football field and an entire stadium full of people stood up and cheered him. That should be us , we folks who are challenged every day with mental illness. We should be getting those cheers every day that we make it through another day without quitting.

If you were 'as happy as a pig in mud' you would be very happy. Apparently pigs love mud. Finger painting was always popular when I was an elementary school art teacher. Who doesn't like squishing wet gooey stuff between their fingers? When I taught a painting class to the older children they loved to play with their paint trays after they were done, making a wonderful mess out of the remaining paint. And don't get me started on paper mache, always a hit with any age. You could really lose yourself in that gushy paste!

Writing about my kitchen window views these last couple of weeks makes me remember all of my kitchen views over the years, twelve altogether. Some have been nicer than others but they all eventually became a familiar source of comfort to me.  I no longer have a house in the country, so my view is quite different now, but I love it. I live in a small town and my kitchen overlooks the firestation, a few houses and the busiest road in town, which everyone takes to the arena and the community centre. I overlook our little parking lot too so I can see my neighbours coming and going. It is not exceptionally pretty but I love it just the same.

This morning there was a man at my kitchen window! And that was a surprise since my apartment is on the second floor. Well, not a complete surprise since recently the windws have all been replaced and the sills were not in yet, so I was sort of expecting him and yet still it was a kind of fun surprise . Reminds me of the time my husband had his first colonoscopy. I was concerned for him as I left him at the hospital and went for a walk and a snack. At the appointed time I went to pick him up and he was still in a bed in the waiting area. He had not yet had the procedure!

Years ago when I was a young wife and mother living on a farm, I used to enjoy a magazine called  'Country Woman' . It was a typical woman's magazine but featuring the country life and the women like me who lived in a rural area.   "The View from my Kitchen Window" was one of my favorite monthly features. Each one was a brief description of the view from the window of some woman's farmhouse and a picture was included.

"Wonderful!"  I never tire of hearing that word. I was blessed for a few years to teach in a private Christian school. The prinicpal at that school was one of the most positive people I knew. And he was the loudest person too! But it is not so terrible to be loud when it is all positive. I was happy to have a classroom close to his office. He often left the door open. Whenever he answered his phone or replied to an inquiry at his door such as "Good morning Mr. Smith, how are you today?" his response would be a big loud "wonderful!" every time.

I am attending one of the friendliest churches I have ever gone to. The picture above was not taken in my church but it could be! People are welcomed warmly and cheerfully and made to feel important and at home right away. I love that about my church. Who doesn't like being greeted when you walk through any doors, whether that is at home, or in a store or restaurant, or maybe at work, and definitely at church. And the friendliness doesn't end at the door. Before the pastor even asks, people mill about greeting each other (old friends as well as first time visitors) and saying positive things. "So good to see you! We missed you last week!" "Welcome. So nice to have you with us this morning!" "You look great today. You always wear such cheerful colours." You get the idea. But my favourite line comes from Murray. He often says, especially to the men "you are the nicest guy I know".  "THE NICEST GUY I KNOW" Who

Somehow the words 'crashing' and 'gracefully' don't really go together but this woman is ready to 'crash' into the water and she is doing it gracefully. Now I don't think this little fellow landed quite so gracefully, do you?

Wow! These guys seem to have a great technique for one of the most difficult races of all time, the three-legged race. Now this would be more typical, two trying to work together but pulling each other down. Maybe they had communication problems.

One of the great things about therapy, if it is working for you, is that once a week, or once a month you know you are going to spend time with someone whose only purpose for one hour is to listen to you and focus on you. That is a luxury.  And during that time between sessions, if something comes up either in your circumstances or your symptoms, you know you will have an upcoming opportunity to discuss it with someone you trust.

The first time I went to a therapist I didn't give it much thought ahead of time. I was desperate for any kind of help, any kind of soft pillow for my hard feelings.  Experiencing an unwanted and unexpected divorce, my life was falling apart and so was I. I was questioning everything I ever did and wondering what happened to lead me to this confusing place.  I just needed to be in a room with someone compassionate who would listen to my sorrows, over and over and over. I wasn't even depressed - yet. And so a lot of thought didn't go into this choice. Gratefully, the good Lord gave me a kind and gentle therapist who had probably listened to many other women cry their way through divorce and knew more about such things than I did. It was comforting.